Empty In Between

A Busy Little Bee~

2008-05-08T19:55:57Z

In one day, I managed to pack up plans for my entire weekend. For Mother's Day, I'll obviously be spending some time with my own mother, but that's actually only going to take place for the morning. Later on in the day, my child care class set up a visiting to an orphanage to spend the day with children without mothers.

Tomorrow afternoon, I have an interview to join a summer program where I can actually be an assistant caretaker at a day care not too far from the cafe. As for Saturday, I'll be babysitting my aunt's baby. So I'll be a busy bee this weekend~

Exams are nearing too, so I have to be getting on that when I'm through with all these projects. But it's fine. Everything seems to be alright.

I've lost my mind.

2008-05-01T03:33:10Z

[*delete*]

Ignore last night's post, if you managed to catch sight of that. =_=

Darling, won't you ease my worried mind?

2008-04-12T04:27:06Z

It's been a while, hmm? o_o

I don't have much to say though. Except ... Libby's coming back for her final visit. And this pretty much determines everything for me, so I'm a bit freaked out. ^^;

My mock entrance exam for Tokyo U is tomorrow. I'm probably even more nervous about that though. I guess it's not that bad, considering that no matter how I do, it doesn't really count as a real exam (although I have heard stories that getting an absolute great score would allow you to use it as your real grade, but that's unlikely).

Either way, just one more year to go. It's kind of hard to believe I've gotten this fair, but--well, not just me, really. I've noticed a lot of people have more extremely forward over the years and sometimes it may not look like much, but with every little action, we're just one step closer into a complete transformation.

I'm probably not making much sense, but ...

~~And I've gotten this idea to use Layla as a girl's name if I ever have a daughter or five. It's a really pretty name~ ^^~~

If I could be anythiiing, I'd be freeee~

2008-01-23T03:00:45Z

To anyone out there, curiosity's got the best of me. I've come to realize I really ... dunno a lot of people that well, unfortunately, so ... well, I guess this is one way I hope to change that a little. So if you aren't busy, just fill out the questions. ^^;

1.)Q. Can you cook?

A.

2.)Q. What was your dream growing up?

A.

3.)Q. What talent do you wish you had?

A.

4.)Q. If I bought you a drink what would it be?

A.

5.)Q. Favorite vegetable?

A.

6.)Q. What was the last book you read?

A.

7.)Q. What zodiac sign are you ?

A.

8.)Q. Any Tattoos and/or Piercings?

A.

9.)Q. Worst Habit?

A.

10.)Q. If you saw me walking down the street would you offer me a ride?

A.

11.)Q. What is your favorite sport?

A.

12.)Q. Negative or Optimistic attitude?

A.

13. )Q. What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?

A.

14.)Q. Worst thing to ever happen to you?

A.

15.)Q. Tell me one weird fact about you.

A.

16.)Q. Do you have any pets?

A.

17.)Q. What if i showed up at your house unexpectedly?

A.

18.)Q. What was your first impression of me?

A.

19.)Q. Do you think clowns are cute or scary?

A.

20.)Q. If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?

A.

21.)Q. Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?

A.

22.)Q. What color eyes do you have?

A.

Q. Ever been arrested?

A.

24.)Q. Bottle or can pop?

A.

25.)Q. If you won $10,000 dollars today, what would you do with it?

A.

26.)Q. If you could, would you date me?

A.

Q. What 's your favorite place to hang at?

A.

28.)Q. Do you believe in ghosts?

A.

29.)Q. Favorite thing to do in your spare time?

A.

30.)Q. Do you swear a lot?

A.

31.)Q. Biggest pet peeve?

A.

32.)Q. In one word, how would you describe yourself?

A.

33.)Q. Do you believe/appreciate romance?

A.

34.)Q. If you could spend 12 hours with me and ask/do anything you like, what would it be?

A.

35)Q. Do you believe in God?

A.

36.)Q. Will you repost this so I can fill it out and do the same for you?

A.

Happy Thanksgiving.

2007-11-22T20:58:11Z

Ugh, I hate birds. =_=

Tonight'll hopefully be great. Lots of food coming our way. And lots of strawberry cake too~ So we'll probably be gaining a couple of pounds tonight. Not good, but, meh, it might be worth it. I wouldn't say no to cake. u-u

It's gonna be a long weekend for me, since no school until Monday. We don't celebrate the holdiay in general in this country, but apparently some teachers and students do, so they gave us the two days off. Besides, lots of big practice exams coming up soon, so they figured a break would be nice. No big plans though, so I'll probably just spend the time studying.

Nya, Cannoli's missing. That's what I heard his sister, Pira, say. She appeared last night, and she says he never actually came back, and that Sumiko's missing too. I'm really curious as to what's going on with this whole alien thing, and what the Returners are up to.

Supposedly, one might actually be in the city and could show up at any time. And if she/he does appear here, I'd be willing to battle. I'm really worried about them up there, and I'd like to help any way I can. I actually kind of wish Kisshu were around. I'd be able to talk to him about this and try to contribute.

And again, birds suck. Especially chickens. They're out to get me. ;-;

Maybe I'm Overthinking

2007-11-16T02:32:23Z

There's a lot on my mind, so ... I'll split this up.

Cannoli left yesterday. I'm kind of sad about it, honestly. He was a pretty nice guy. A couple of weeks ago, he was trying to figure out how to write out his name on paper, so I started to teach him the basics of reading and writing. And I must say, it felt pretty good.

Now I may not be a total Ryou-like genius or anything, and I can't even get the first line of the periodic table memorized but when it comes to counting and the alphabet, it's all pretty basic stuff, so it's easy to teach. And even though it's all simple obvious stuff, when Cannoli got so happy after writing out "cat", it really did feel good inside to have been able to show him that.

I've been thinking about Ami, and I began hoping she'd come to visit again soon, so I can see how well I'm able to teach an actual child, though since Ami should be 8 by now, it might mean a little more difficult things than just "bird" and "duck". And, then again, she's Ryou's daughter, so she must be a genius by her age already. D:

Child care classes are going really well too. Surprisingly, I at the top of the class. It makes me wonder if maybe this is my calling? It's the last thing I would have thought about though. After all, even if I enjoy working with and taking care of them, kids really don't like me all too much. Cannoli didn't mind, but while he has the Earth knowledge of a kid, he isn't one, and he's the type of guy who wouldn't turn down the offer of being taught by a girl. But most of all, he was pretty determined.

Putting my child-teaching thoughts aside, I hope Cannoli does okay. After all, there's a war going on over there, and I feel pretty bad that we're all over here doing just fine. I didn't like the aliens at first, but they aren't such bad people (well, at least the majority of them who aren't starting the war to begin with). The last thing they'd need to start fighting amongst each other.

I wonder how Kisshu is. I heard he's the supposed "leader" for the time being. Considering how simple-minded and rebellious he is, it's hard to imagine him leading an entire planet, but from what I hear, he's doing the best he can. It must be pretty difficult having to get all that responsibility so suddenly and then all of a sudden, litterly half of the world is out to get you.

I wish I could help out. For once, it'd be nice not to be so useless. But what could I do? Bell-bell some aliens? Strawberry-check some more chimera? Well, I could. Then again, no, considering I have no way of getting to that world. But either way, there's school. It'd be difficult to balance trying to get into college and attempting to save an alien world all at once. =/

Understanding's a tricky thing. Just because you see things clearly in your own way, it doesn't mean someone else will see it like that. Sometimes things could be at their worse for you, and people still think you have it good. Sometimes you're just looking for something simple to put a smile on your face, and people think you're asking for the world. Sometimes we just want to breathe, and people think you're looking for complications.

If only we could just look at things from different perpsectives. And maybe I'm hypocritical when I say this, but I know I have tried in several occasions, but it's difficult when people won't take the same stand for me.

And it's not just about me. I think everyone has issues with being misunderstood. I think we all want things that others may never come to understand because they are not us and therefore they don't feel the same things we do. They don't get that sense of want that we have, so they don't see things through our eyes. And because of that, hate forms. Envy forms. Division forms.

Maybe we even misunderstand ourselves sometimes. We think we want something, we think we feel something, and because of that, it blinds us from the true reality. It prevents us from seeing the big picture, and that is the problem with most people; refusing to see the big picture. All we need to do is widen our eyes a little, but we're so bent on what we feel that we don't have to will to believe it's possible for things to maybe not be the way we thought.

It's just our natural pride and ego of never wanting to be wrong, of wanting our feelings to be the way things should be, to be set as the standards for life's turns. And that's where misunderstandings are formed. From the rejection of taking the chance to see things differently, of not wanting to be wrong.

But everyone's different, and we all have our fears and doubts, and maybe we just need to look a little deeper and listen more closely. Maybe, just maybe, things can clear up a bit more.

-sigh- Sorry for all of this. It's more of just my random thoughts. I just felt like I should put them somewhere. In other cases, everything's been alright. Though I never want a repeat of sledding and island girls again. Log cabins are nice things though.

And alcohol is bad for you, kay?

Oh, Papa Ichi.

2007-11-01T21:36:30Z

Dinner with my dad today.
-d00m-
My mom's apparently having some "girls' night out" with some friends of hers, and my dad felt lonely. So then after much begging from him, I finally agreed to have some "bonding" time with him on the condition that he wouldn't criticize or even mention my relationship with Ryou.

Overprotective fathers can be a pain.

Like Paper Cuts.

2007-10-30T17:47:37Z

Ouch, papercut. D:

Grades are being finalized for the first quarter, and it seems like I've been on track with all of them. Also amazing how my highest grade point average is in Child Care. ^^; But with these grades, my counselor tells me that if I can continue on this track, things will end up looking really well for me, and perhaps Tokyo U could be a possibility after all. But now they'll be throwing a bunch of practice exams at me for the next couple of weeks. So I'll have to study hard for those. =/

Oh, and I've been scheduled to take care of Libby again in January, so that's ... something to look forward to? She was a pest, but I did enjoy taking care of her. That'll be the second run out of three, since they want to test out how well we improve throughout the year. That means, I'll probably get her a third time at around May.

Everything else seems to be looking good, too. My dad hasn't attacked anyone since his visit to the cafe, so at least that isn't a worry. Surprisingly, though, things are looking pretty calm on the surface, and that kind of scares me, because I kind of feel something could go wrong at any moment. I won't look to into it, though. I'm probably just being paranoid.

Tomorrow's Halloween. No idea what the plans are, though. If anything, I'll most likely be dressing up in that witch costume we found in Plum's box. I can't believe the year's almost over in two months, though. I guess since I was pretty lost for most of it, it didn't feel so long. Then again, a lot has happened in the past few months alone. A lot.

But I don't know. Despite the fact that things are still messy right now, I'm not feeling so down. I don't think I've felt this good in such a long time. I haven't run away from anything, and I've felt more confidence in myself. Plus, I have someone truly amazing sticking beside me. Maybe things are just finally starting to make sense to me. Hmm. I can see clearly now the rain is gone?

So, anyhow, now there's ~~ten~~ eight left. I have to think up something good. :O

I need sleep~ =__=

2007-10-14T14:12:08Z

This has been ... quite a week.

My dad's suddenly with this whole request for me to move back home. He's whining on how much he "misses his little girl" and that he doesn't get to spend enough time with me, despite the fact that I visit him three to four times a week. -_-; I guess his suspicions of things are getting to him. Although, if he did find out I was currently living in an apartment on my own, he'd definitely drag me home. x_x

I told my counselor that I wanted to go to Tokyo U. He laughed. >_> So, it's an out-of-reach goal, but why do people have to be that honest? Nothing's impossible, right? There's a chance for me if I could work hard enough for it. And I haven't been doing so bad anyhow. So, well, I -could- do it. ._.

Anyhow, I'm up early, but I'm really tired. It's been a wild week, and Ryou's party yesterday was ... um ... well, it was quite unexpected. This just brings us back to the point that sugar should be banned from the cafe. At least if we use it, they should use a decent amount instead of 50 pounds of it in one cookie. I really don't want to see any more public shows from Ryou. =/

And I get way too easily convinced into things. x-x;

...

2007-09-27T17:25:12Z

... I'm sorry. ._.

Project Libby: Success.

2007-09-24T19:42:37Z

Grades were finalized on the Libby project today. And I did just fine~ ^^ They were actually impressed considering that it's only the first part. They let you have a shot with a child at the beginning of the year to see what you can do so far, and then at the end of the school year, we can take another shot at it. So I'll be seeing Libby again when the school year's over, but for now, apparently I took care of her really well. Of course, it's thanks to Ryou and the others that I was able to.

Pretty interesting weekend. I completely forgot how much of a pain riding a horse can be though. x_x But overall, it was a nice weekend. Although, I was informed that my next ice cream shipment would be coming in late. That kind of threw it all off. :/

All in all, everything seems to have calmed down a bit. I'm sure it's not all over just yet, but hopefully things are gonna get more sorted out. ~~And why is my father constantly calling me claming his fatherly instincts are telling him something bad happened? X_X~~

It's a wonder.

2007-09-20T02:09:55Z

So, Libby's gone. Really, I guess I'm kind of disappointed. As frustrating as she was with her constant crying and whining, I enjoyed the experience of it. Makes me kind of wonder what being a real mother will be like. Then again, I don't exactly expect that to happen anytime soon. x-x

Things are kind of crazy right now. Then again, when aren't they? I just hope everything could just kind of fall into place again and no one has to go through this anymore. It's been pretty hard on everyone and if we don't get this all sorted out soon, they could only end up completely falling apart.

I kind of wonder about things. With everything that's going on, I can't figure out if the timing's alright. Either way, I'm definitely certain things are going to change. What will change and how, I'm not sure, but ... well, it's more like everything'll change. For everyone.

Hmm.

2007-09-08T17:39:41Z

Maybe. Maybe not.

Possibly. Or no.

Hmm hmm hmm.

Damn it.

2007-09-03T15:59:11Z

I am getting so sick and tired of this.

Seriously, it's driving me mad at this point.

But the heck can I do about it?

Cat Charms

2007-08-14T15:15:42Z

I'm taking a "break" from work, but even so, I'm still doing work. I've started on a new project: cat charms. For those who didn't hear it's said that one takes a set of two cat charms, gives one to the person they love, keeps one for themself, and the two are bound together forever. And no, I did not make that up myself. x-X;

So, well, the first set I made has been given out. Although, in all honesty, I'm kind of beginning to believe that these two people don't really need the magic of the cat charms. I think, with or without, they're set. ^^;

Anyhow, school's starting up again next week. It's hard to believe I only have two years left. My parents keep asking me what I think about college. I guess I'd like to go, though I'm not definite on how that's gonna work out. My mom's given me brochures of good places to go, but they're all out of the city. I guess when it all comes down it, I really just want to stay here.

New Member of the Kokoro Family!

2007-08-10T01:01:23Z

10 WHAT’S:
1. What was the first thing you thought about when you woke up? I don't remember, but they were definitely happy thoughts, I'm sure. ^^

2. What did you do last night? Had a "family dinner", haha. x-x;

3. What is the most important part of your life? The people I spend it with. Hmm.

4. What would you rather be doing right now? Sleeping. D:

5. What did you last cry over? ...

6. What always makes you feel better when you’re upset? Hmm, I guess that's Ryou. o.o

8. What’s the most important thing you look for in a significant other? *giggle* Secret~ :3

9. What are you worried about? Lots of things. :/

10. What are you looking forward to most in this week? Nothing specific going on. o.o

NINE HAVE YOU’S:
1. Have you ever liked someone while you had a girlfriend/boyfriend? Yeah, my boyfriend. :/

2. Have you ever had your heart broken? Eh.

4. Have you ever been out of the country? Yup.

5. Have you ever done something outrageously dumb? ..... no comment. >_>

6. Have you ever been back stabbed by a friend? Uh, not really? o.o

7. Have you ever had the cops called on you? No. x_x

8. Have you ever dated someone younger than you? No. o.o

9. Have you ever read an entire book in one day? Yup, just once though. ^^; I think it was "This Lullaby" by Sarah Dessen. o.o

EIGHT WHO’S:
1. Who was the last person you saw? Gamu, I believe.

2. Who was the last person you kissed? Take one guess.

3. Who was the last person you texted? Bob.

4. Who was the last person to call you? Plum; she was yelling at me to buy cheese since we ran out. x_x

5. Who was your first crush? Masaya. ^^;

6. Who is the last person who texted you? Also Bob.

7.Who is the last person you freaked out on? Probably Ryou. o.o

8. Who did you last hug? Ryou.

SEVEN WHEN’S:
1.When was your last shower? This afternoon.

2. When did you last see your mom? This past weekend.

3. When was your last time you saw your dad? Also in the weekend.

4. When did you last dress up? It's been a while. ^^;;

5. When was the last time you cried? Uh, sometime ago.

6. When did you last go to the movies and with who? I went with Sarah two weeks ago.

7. When did you last listen to music? Today, I'm into Tegan and Sara right now. ^^;

SIX WHERE’S:
1. Where does your best friend live? Best friend? :/

2. Where did you last go? Uh, the café? o.o

3. Where did you last hang out? Café again? ^^;

4. Where do you feel like going to? Hmm, anywhere but here. I'd like to go on another vacation before school, but I doubt that'll happen. ^^;

5. Where is your favorite place to be? I like being at the café, really. ^^

6. Where did you sleep last night? The apartment.

FIVE DO’S/DOES:
1. Do you like someone right now? Yes. ^^;;

2. Do they like you too? Yes. o.o

3. Do you ever wish you were someone else? Uh, no comment.

4. Do you know the muffin man? I know the muffin lady! ^^

5. Does the future scare you? Sometimes.

FOUR WHY’S:
1. Why are you best friends with your best friend? Meh. :/

2. Why did you get a livejournal? Um, cause everyone else was doing it? ^^

3. Why did your parents give you the name you have? I actually don't know. o.o

4. Why are you doing this survey? ... uh, no idea. x_x

THREE IF’S:
1. If you could have one superpower, what would it be? I already have, but ... I guess I'd want the power of ... uh, super strength! =D

2. If you could go back in time and change one thing, would you? Oh man. ._.

3. If you were stranded on a deserted island and could bring one thing what would it be? A boat. ^^b

TWO WOULD-YOU-EVER’S:
1. Would you ever get back together with any of your ex’s if they asked you? No. ^^;

2. Would you ever shave your head to save someone you love? ..... Uh. No comment? :D

ONE LAST QUESTION:
1. Are you happy with your life right now? ... we'll see.

Well, we have a new "member of the family". Really, it just seems like Kisshu number two. ^^; He's actually really nice, although he seems to have some weird attachment to Gamu. No idea what that's all about. But he seems to like her, it's actually really cute. ^^

I've been working on new stuff lately. I've had a lot of requests and ideas, some I never would have thought of. I got a request for a Ryou plushie cosplaying as Mew Ichigo, so I decided to give that a shot. Only ... I found out it had been Plum would had requested it in the first place. x_x

And not much else is going on. Everyone seems to be doing better, although not everything is as great just yet. Haven't spoken to Daisuke since that day either. I hope he's doing alright. Marche said he'd look after him. :/

But all is okay! Everything will be better in no time! Everyone will be happy again sometime soon. I'm sure of it! ^^

Don't cling to comfort and everything will be comfortable.

2007-08-06T01:59:48Z

I was reading this book, and the following excerpt just changed me entirely, I swear.

Be careful as crossing frozen water, alert as a Warrior on enemy ground. Be as courteous as a Guest, as fluid as a Stream. Be as shapeable as a block of wood, as receptive as glass. Don’t seek and don’t expect. Be patient and wait until your mud settles and your water is clear.

Act without doing, work without effort, think of the large as small and the many as few. Confront the difficult while it is easy, accomplish the great one step at a time. Don’t reach and you will find, if you run into trouble throw yourself toward it. Don’t cling to comfort and everything will be comfortable.

Failure is an opportunity. If you blame others, this is no end to blame. Fulfill your obligations, correct your mistakes. Do what you need to do and step away. Demand nothing and give all.

Survey. x-x

2007-08-05T23:24:55Z

> > 1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? Um ... after a strawberry, I suppose. ^^;
> > 2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? Um, recently, maybe?
> > 3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? Yeah~ It's all cute and swirly. :3
> > 4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? Hmm, not quite sure about this. o.o
> > 5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? Not yet. ^^;;;
> > 6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? ... ._.
> > 7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? Sometimes, not often though.
> > 8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? *nod*
> > 9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? Oooh, sure! ^^
> > 10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? Hmm, I like Apple Jacks. ^^
> > 11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? Not really.
> > 12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? Well, I don't know, but I could take down Ryou if I wanted. :D
> > 13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? Strawberry~ <333
> > 14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? Dunno, probably their facial expression. ^^;;
> 15. RED OR PINK? Piiink~ >_>
> > 16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? Eh, probably that I don't really act much on trying to change things for the better. ._.
> > 17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? Hmm, I wonder.
> > 18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU? Um, doesn't matter?
> > 19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? A red plaid skirt really, and black shoes.
> > 20 WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? ... tofu eggs. :/
> > 21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? Well, it's actually pretty quiet.
> > 22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? The pink one! :D
> > 23. FAVORITE SMELLS? I actually like the smell of popcorn. ^^
> > 24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? Sarah, I believe.
> > 25. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? I took it from Ryou. He's ... okay. >_>
> > 26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH? I don't really watch them. o.o
> > 27. HAIR COLOR? Red.
> > 28. EYE COLOR? Brown.
> > 29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? No.
> > 30. FAVORITE FOOD? Strawberries <3
> > 31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? Happy endings, of course. ^^
> > 32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? I think it was Pride and Prejudice which I saw the other day.
> > 33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? Red.
> > 34. SUMMER OR WINTER? Summer.
> > 35. HUGS OR KISSES? The latter. :P
> > 36. FAVORITE DESSERT? Strawberry ice cream. ^^
> > 37. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? I dunno, Plum?
> > 38. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Ryou, cause he already did this. :P
> > 39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? "Oliver Twist" by Charles Dickens. ^^b
40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? A kitty. ^^
41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT? Didn't watch any.
> > 42. FAVORITE SOUND? The wind, it's peaceful and calming, really. ^^;;
> > 43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? Beatles. ^^
> > 44. WHAT IS THE FURTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME? No clue. o.o
> > 45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? Not that I know of. o.o *think* Well, I can knit better than most people, I suppose. ^^;
> 46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN? Here in Japan.
> > 47. WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK? Eh. D:

I've been waiting for a miracle~

2007-08-05T16:41:30Z

I can't figure out why cooking is so difficult for me! Everyone else seems to have it figured out, and even if they're aren't total experts, they can steal manage to cook up something small. I really think I'm prone to disaster. At least that's a definite when it comes to the kitchen.

So, at least I know not to consider 'cook' as a new career choice. I don't think I'm quitting the knitting thing altogether, but really, it's alright to take a break once in a while, right? I didn't close the business down, and in fact, Sarah insisted on taking care of things while I put things on hold. Plum also volunteered to help out (though I'm really scared about allowing her to do so), so really, things are still going over there.

For now, I guess I'm waitressing at Café Mew Mew again? Although, I've never really seen much waitressing going on there lately, it's not like anyone ever gets anything done. Either way, at least that was one thing I was good at, despite how little it pays for all the things I get done on my own.

So, I suppose all is okay. For now, anyway. I'm not freaking out about anything, Ryou's a meanie as per usual, and the café's still a nutty place.

Oh, and of course, happy birthday, Gamu.

sigh

2007-08-01T17:17:16Z

I am such an idiot.

Things are just so complicated. ._.

I'm stumped. D:

I'm falling into you.

2007-01-06T16:40:32Z

So, yeah, I'm not living in the cafe anymore. ^^;;

-siiiiigh- ._.

Oh Well.

2007-01-03T17:09:25Z

So, I attempted to leave the cafe, and just stay out of everybody's lives, but I guess my plans pretty much failed. I don't know, maybe what I was doing was just selfish, even though they weren't meant to be. Actually, they had been meant to benefit everyone, so that things could maybe be easier, but maybe not. Either way, I'm back at the cafe now again.

Of course, I still have to finish my unpacking. With that plushie fest last night, I didn't exactly get the chance to finish. And it's really sucky that after all the packing I had done, I just have to reverse it all now. AND my plushies were ruined too. I did, however, discover Ryou to have been a total Ichi fanboy this whole time, which is a really funny thing, and I just can't get over the idea now. x3

Damned Hospitals, Damned Nurses.

2006-12-09T17:22:52Z

I guess I have to go to the doctor today to check on my finger. I mean, it really doesn't even hurt that much. Not unless you touch it, anyway. But nooo~ Darn Ryou's gonna force me to get it checked anyway. >_<

In other news, I guess everything's okay. I mean, I've been talking with everyone a lot more lately, which is definitely a good thing. I haven't run into any of the Shirogane family, either, which for now, is also a good thing. I'm most likely going to come face-to-face to some of them again eventually, but I really don't feel I'm ready to try to "prove myself" yet again right now.

Right now, I just want to relax and feel like everything's going to turn out okay in the end. To not have to face this drama every single day. To be able to just be happy and not feel guilty about it for the rest of my life. I want to be able to just feel happy and good about my life without it having to be at the expense of someone else.

Still, I'm trying to be a better person. I want people to see that I am "somebody" and not just some stupid strawberry who does nothing but hide behind her boyfriend all of the time. That's another thing I really want to change. I love Ryou, I do. But I've spent every day being so dependent on him. Which makes him having moved out a sort of good thing in some ways. Even though I hope I'll marry him one day, I still have to learn to be by myself. To know, that no matter what happens, I can still be able to make it on my own.

At least I hope so.

Just something.

2006-12-09T04:35:24Z

The Random Question Meme!

An array of completely random questions about my friends!

Can scardey_panda do a headstand?: I'm not sure. ^^;
What is the most embarrassing thing you know about deuxblade?: Well, I'm not spilling anything about my brother. I wouldn't do that to Dai. ^^
Is latinpanda's spoon too big?: Spoon? o.o
Would lordly_kyr be better described as a hero or a villain?: *laughs nervously* ^^;;;;;
What would the minions of plumster's army look like?: The end of the world, I'd say.
What would your life be like if you had never met exlawyer?: Well, I don't think there'd be any major changes, actually. No offense, Bob. ^^;;
Doesn't baku_tumble have anything better to do?: Um ... I dunno? ^^;
What do you think of when you see vixichi?: I absolutely love her! She's amazing! ^^
Have you ever seen ryou_shirogane naked?: N-no! X////X
What kind of underwear does tasuku_megu wear?: o_O

This is by heptadecagram. You can find your own completely random questions here.

Do you feel enlightened now?

x-x

2006-05-13T00:20:06Z

You're an Passionate Kisser

For you, kissing is about all about following your urges
If someone's hot, you'll go in for the kiss - end of story
You can keep any relationship hot with your steamy kisses
A total spark plug - your kisses are bound to get you in trouble

What Kind of Kisser Are You?

.... zomg! x-X;